is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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