I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
