I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
