I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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