She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
