idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
sarcasm needs its own font
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
