I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize