Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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