and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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