are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
