Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
