I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
