i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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