woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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