I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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