I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
