I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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