Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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