talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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