That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
