i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
