when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
