my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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