I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
