Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize