is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
These tits shall not be calmed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
