she looked like the before picture.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
