are you still at the devil's house?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.