Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy