Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here