i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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