I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize