Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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