Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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