you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I could fuck to npr.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
