first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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