What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I won the penis lottery.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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