you traded sex for a burrito?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's the barista slut.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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