Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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