is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
