so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize