I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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