you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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