in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
