she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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