Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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