Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize