mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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