he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your cock deserves a montage
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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