oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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