Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
