i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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