Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
