Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
