$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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