I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
