i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
