If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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