i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
